Tuesday, May 23, 2006

All About Your Urine!

Let's talk about urine. We all like to talk about it, so it only makes sense that it is discussed by The Daily Skinny.

According to the Xinhua news agency, more than three million Chinese people drink their own urine because they believe it is good for their health. While it may be good for their health, (and this is still being debated) I'm sure it's bad for their breath.

Since you are interested, let me explain how to become part of this wise and eastern tradition. Most urine drinking professionals maintain that the best urine is obtained mid-stream during the first morning urination. (I know this is disgusting, but isn't it fascinating?) There are a variety of methods for supplementing your diet with urine. Just like the old kids song, "Some like it hot, some like it cold, some like it in the pot 9 days old". For the more Martha Stewart among them, many mix it with juice and use it to freshen their fruit. (I recommend hiding this fact from your guests.)

Others like to put the golden elixir in a dropper which they use to deposit the life giving liquid under their tongue several times per day. Many Japanese women believe that bathing in huge tubs of urine is great for the skin, and preserves a youthful glow. While I would not call it a great way to start your day, many holy men in India have been drinking their own urine for thousands of years. (That is, the group has been doing it for thousands of years. They are not drinking thousand year old urine.) The main attractions of this ultimate home brew are its cost, availability and portability. Besides being free, for most people there are no intoxicating side effects.

To protect The Daily Skinny subscribers, I should inform you that if you decide to include urine drinking in your morning routine, you should be aware that if your urine starts tasting and smelling like maple syrup... That's a bad thing! (Please don't start putting it on pancakes.) If your urine smells or tastes like maple syrup, you might have Maple Syrup Urine Disease. (I'm not kidding!) This is currently my favorite disease. Maple Syrup Disease, AKA L.U.D. (Lucky Urine Drinker) is a metabolic disorder where your body can't metabolize certain proteins correctly. The parts of protein that are the trouble makers are the amino acids leucine, isoleucine, and valine. These amino acids accumulate in the blood causing a wonderful, delicious smelling urine. Unfortunately this disease can also cause stupidity and death. I'm not kidding. These amino acids can be toxic in high levels. Check out http://www.msud-support.org/ where you can join a support group. If you encounter someone who seems to have severe mental problems, you might consider asking them if they have smelled their urine lately. If they answer "yes", it might just explain things. Even if they don't answer, I'll bet it will shut them up.

If you’d like productive way in which you can use cow dung and your own urine to enrich your life, take a look at http://www.iscowp.org/Nuggets/101%20Uses%20for%20Cow%20Dung.htm

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