Wednesday, December 31, 2008

“So This is How Democracy Dies; to Thunderous Applause.”

Let us accept the following premises:

Bad people exist
Bad people have bad desires and goals
Bad people are likely to form groups to accomplish these goals
Bad people are likely attempt (through any means) to protect people in their group from being discovered.

That being said, the following Daily Skinny is an illustration of how tricky it can be to interpret a situation ex post facto (after the fact). Speaking of Latin, did you know that “i.e.” comes from Id Est and is Latin for “That is to Say”?

While there are no doubt some actual secrets being kept by various governments, when hearing conspiracy theories, it should be remembered that even the most straight forward of events can be obfuscated by cherry picking facts, and repeating rumors. If you come across a questionable event that warrants study, then study it. Don’t read commentaries by people who use strategies found below. (Adapted from another site)

Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job?

We’ve all heard the “official theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many citizens of the Empire, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may be the victims of a fraud of immense proportions.

Uncomfortable Questions about the Death Star Attack

1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?

2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE (Twin Ion Engine) Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?

3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?

4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?

5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?

6) How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to “bullseye womp-rats” on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be “impossible, even for a computer.” Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?

7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?

8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?

9) It has also been reported that the LEADER of the so called “Rebellion” is none other than Darth Vader’s DAUGHTER, the SISTER of the hero who supposedly destroyed the infamous Death Star?? Absurd.

10) In the video of the Death Star’s destruction, Lord Vader clearly exclaims “I have you now” then fires two shots. Those shots never impact — anywhere. Were they merely “added” to the “official” video after the event to make it appear that Lord Vader had at least attempted to fight off his alleged son? Why has this question never been answered? We, the citizens of the Imperial Government, have a right to know if our Lord is a supporter of terrorists.

11) We all remember how shocked and terrified we were in 1977 when we first witnessed the horrific destruction of the Crown Jewel of the Imperial Fleet. Yet, a few years back, when the new “Official” story of the tragedy was released, the footage of the Death Star’s destruction had been CLEARLY ALTERED, possibly with the use of COMPUTERS! Rumors have since circulated of the involvement of a California Bay Area special effects firm in the cover-up. That same corporation has also been awarded a contract to set up operations on the site of San Francisco’s Presidio Military Base! Could Defense Department sources be involved? THE TRUTH MUST BE TOLD!

12) When a Blue-Ray edition of the “official” video is viewed on a 103″ plasma 120hz HDTV progressive scan screen… one can just make out the word “Haliburton” embossed on the instrument panel of Luke SkyWalker!

13) The Grand Moff Tarkin knew that the Leia Organa was obviously dangerous for the security of the Empire, and yet, Vader kept convincing Tarkin not to eliminate her. She was also supposed to be “tortured” by Vader to reveal the location of the hidden rebel base, but apparently the “torture” was pretty pathetic since she later (when rescued) did not look like she suffered at all. What’s more, when the hero Tarkin destroyed Alderaan, Vader was actually COMFORTING this rebel by holding her shoulders!


Alauna said...

Jonathan I would like to set you straight on a few things.Question #1:  The rebel fighters were picked off one and two at a time.  Even Vader was knocked out of the trench and into space.  Only Luke was able to get through because of his skill and of course the "Force."Question #2:  Grand Moff Tarkin refused to deploy the TIE fighters because he was an idiot and deserved to die.Question #5:  Vader didn't just fly away he was knocked out of the trench and realized he needed to cust his losses and leave (very smart of him, I think).Question #6:  Luke was a very skilled wump bat fighter.  He also used the "Force".  Maybe you should try it sometime.  It works really well.Question #10:  Go back and watch the video again.  Vader was shot at and knocked out of the trench.  That made him miss his shots.  He is not as good as he thought he was.Question #13:  What video hae you been watching.  Vader was holding her back because she was going to attack Grand Moff Tarkin.I hope answering these questions has helped you understand better what REALLY happened.Mom

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